Discipline Sans Cilice

A week or so ago, I had a conversation with a very good friend about what is lacking in his life (and mine), and what the missing pieces can be chalked up to. After being predictably self-pitying for a bit regarding our futures, our financial statuses, our social happiness, and our senses of fulfillment, we hung up.

The next time we spoke, we had both come to the same conclusion: the missing piece is self-discipline.

Self-discipline comes in many shapes and sizes; some people snap a rubber band to rid themselves of bad habits, while others wear cilices to purge their souls. I’m not a masochist-- at least, not a physical one (I think we all have inherently masochistic tendencies that make it common to flock toward drama despite disliking it, but I digress). My self discipline needs to come from routine.

Of late, I’ve been struggling several inconsistencies in my life borne of anxiety. My whole life is stretching in front of me, and I am inundated (and overwhelmed) by choices. What is my next step? Where should I go? I want as many options open to me as possible as I step forward into the world on my own. The clock is ticking, however, and I feel like Monk wringing his hands over a warehouse of misaligned and mixed-up day-of-the-week paraphernalia. There’s just too much to do, the task is intimidating, and I just don’t know where to begin (even though it’s bothering me to no end).

I lack discipline. I start projects and take far too long to finish them. For instance, my room has been emptied for a week because I’ve decided to attempt a sort of minimalist lifestyle, but I have yet to sort through things and keep, sell, donate, or trash all of them-- by the by, I will be selling some rather cool things (Katana sets, anyone? Mannequin? A dragon mirror?) very soon, if anyone is interested.

I lack discipline to throw myself into the projects that make me anxious-- rather than getting things done, I am Chili Pepper (el perro) chasing my tail. Take a look at Life Lesson #4, because I think this best summarizes it; being busy does not mean things are accomplished, and I wish to change that.

For a while now, I’ve started to experiment with structure and routine. I know I’m supposed to be youthfully spontaneous, and I am regarding things that don’t stress me. Stress management by being an old lady with a pocketbook schedule has become a priority, however, because I don’t want to worry where my life is going every step of the way. I want to see the road stretched in front of me rather than drive blindly off a cliff, à la Thelma and Louise (I’m feeling quite metaphorically inclined today).

Right now, I’m trying to regulate my sleep hygiene (little phrase I just learned today from my brilliant doc). [Note: Sleep hygiene is an interesting concept; you can find more information on it here.] Next, I’m going to focus on my environment and making it conducive to getting things accomplished (let’s say ‘git-’er done’ is today’s utterly random and completely off-topic colloquialism, simply because I like the sound of it) by decluttering and simplifying and maybe getting some sort of plant (I trust 'Nicholas Angel's' word that peace lily oxygenation is good for you; kudos to you for knowing the reference).

Hopefully, with enforced and conscious discipline in various aspects of my life, I’ll be able to achieve long-term goals and relax more. I’ll finish more because I’ll be less intimidated by the tasks at hand.

After setting up structure, I would ideally never procrastinate again. I think that’s the best way to make it into comic books or mythology, however, because I have never known a human to not procrastinate in some regard (sometimes, we need breaks!).

Now, everyone, raise your hand if you’re in the same boat as me (anxious, worried, stressed, and/or overwhelmed)… don’t deny it, I know you are… But don’t worry, you’re part of the club.

Keeping the Hinges Oiled

I preface this entry by saying I am not donning the irritating cape of self-righteousness when I speak of the best ways to live life. My words are intended to help with bettering lifestyles, using what we have been given. If you're like me, money, time, and energy are all in short supply.

As I am the Queen of the realms of Downtime and Laziness, I’ve come to the conclusion that spending what free time I have in front of the television or computer and generally being mindless is causing my brain to slowly corrode. I can’t seem to let go of either, however-- I’ve been sucked into the addictive maws of CSI and Burn Notice and about five other shows.

I’ve sold my soul to media, as I’m sure many of us have.

I’ve found a solution, however-- there are countless preachy articles and informative pieces available to anyone that has access to Google about the importance of an active lifestyle. I’ll argue that physical activity is necessary to a degree, but giving up the relaxation-time things we love isn’t necessary.

My solution? Knitting. I knit while I watch television or stream Fullmetal Alchemist online (I fully admit to being a nerd). I’ve started making jewelry, just experimenting with beads I had from some kit I received as a birthday gift when I was eight (I fully admit to also being a packrat). In doing these things and pursuing what random interests I’ve had in the course of my life, I’ve found a deep satisfaction in accomplishing something new and creating something useful.

Now I can make an afghan as a gift for someone, with my undivided attention for my television as the main cost. Or I can make jewelry for myself. It’s especially nice to know that I can turn a profit from doing my downtime crafts on websites like Etsy or Ebay.

It doesn’t only extend to making things. I am taking the time to learn guitar properly. As I watch my beloved old movies, I put forth the effort to look up film criticisms and hunt for homages and technical details many people rarely notice. I feel like I’m growing even as I enjoy myself.

The moral of the story is simply that all interests should be nurtured. Excuses like ‘not having the time’ are rarely valid-- what little time is available to these bumblebees is squandered on rot. Interests and learning have a way of paying off later in life, whether you turn a profit from making painted lampshades or you simply can hold your own in an in-depth conversation about quantum physics.

There are never any regrets in trying too much; there will always be regrets in not having done enough. Explore like you’re four or five again-- children have a way of wanting to try anything and everything. Perhaps this bright-eyed outlook is something to emulate (although it’s encumbent upon me to stress that coloring the walls with crayon scribbles is generally not a good idea; toilet training is also a particularly nice, adult thing to maintain). Learn, and it will always be worthwhile.

Related to tonight’s post is also Life Lesson #1.